I reread my all my journals last summer. I cried because there was no development of self, just constant self-beratement for not achieving Mormon woman perfection. The doctrine was my yardstick and I was always coming up short. I left the church 3 years ago after a decade of deconstruction. I thought I was done. But then last year I realized I hadn’t deconstructed the false self I’d constructed to survive as a Mormon woman. So I’m in process.
I reread my all my journals last summer. I cried because there was no development of self, just constant self-beratement for not achieving Mormon woman perfection. The doctrine was my yardstick and I was always coming up short. I left the church 3 years ago after a decade of deconstruction. I thought I was done. But then last year I realized I hadn’t deconstructed the false self I’d constructed to survive as a Mormon woman. So I’m in process.
Sending love to you — this process is so hard but so brave and you’re not alone!! 💖
I love you